Wieners, Balls, and Poop

Now as dirty as that title sounds it will all make sense by the end of the post.  I don't have that crude of a sense of humor.

 About a month ago we went to the Royals game with the Gorneys.  Not only was it seats in the Diamond Club, but it was also Buck Night and Fireworks Friday.  Pretty much everything I like about going to the Royals.  Jeryn clearly took advantage of $1 hot dogs since she ate THREE.  Yes, that's right.  Jeryn Fe ate three weiners.  We got alot of weiner jokes out of that night.

She obviously needed to work off those three wieners so we walked around to the carousel and fountains.  While we were gone, Jerad caught a foul ball that came flying at our table.  It's a good thing we were gone cause us gals didn't want to get hit by any balls.

 And now for the poop part- Jeryn Fe you'll hate me for this someday.  Just remember that Tia loves you :)

Ashley went to go look at the souvenir shop so me and J-Fe were hanging out- girl talk, people watching, hopping, the usual.  She told me that she needed to go potty- which is awesome since I know they've been working on potty training.  I figured since she told me that she had to potty, we were gonna make it in time so I didn't grab the diaper bag.  Bad mistake.

We get to the fancy schmancy Diamond Club restrooms and it's packed full.  Luckily, the handicapped one was open so in we went.  I have Jeryn stand there to pull down her shorts and her pull ups and out rolls.... little poop marbles.  That's the best way that I can describe it.  It was basically balls of poop rolling around everywhere.  Awesome.

Just wait, it gets better.  So here I am on the floor of the handicapped stall trying to pick up her poop marbles- with toilet paper to throw in the toilet.  I've taken her shorts and pull up off so she's standing with only a shirt and her Nikes on.  Little country mouth junior doesn't exactly have an "inside voice" yet so while I'm doing this she's practically yelling-  "Tia, what is that?", "Tia, is that my poop on the floor?", "Tia, I see poop." etc. And then... she grabs one too.  So if she wasn't loud before, now she's really yelling. "Ahhh, Tia, I got poop on my hand!! Get it off!! YUCKY! POOP!!!" And at this point I'm cracking up so hard because what else can I do?  So I sit her on the toilet, try to wipe her hands with toilet paper and she tells me that she doesn't have to go anymore.  Ya, no crap kid.

I then do the unthinkable... I shove her pull up in the feminine product trash can, put her back in her shorts "commando", and we quickly wash our hands.  I'm hanging my head in shame at this point and don't make eye contact with anybody.  They all heard what went down, no point in making nice with the Diamond Club ladies.

So J-Fe and I hightail it back to our seats, mutter something to Trent and Jerad, grab a pull up, and fly back to the restrooms.  Now the stupid bathrooms are empty.  Of course they are.  After a fresh pull up, another hand washing, and some more hopping, all was well with the diva.  And Ashley and Jerad really enjoyed that they missed out on this one.

Jeryn Fe, never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I would get to scrape your poop marbles off the bathroom floor at a Royals game. You keep life exciting, that's for sure!  Tia loves you very much and will probably tell that story to all of your boyfriends someday, you're welcome. I think that's only fair :)